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Honoring Their Memory on the National Day of Remembrance

Writer: Rosemary Velazquez
Rosemary Velazquez
2 days ago
3 min read

On the National Day of Remembrance of Homicide Victims, we remember those who have died due to acts of violence. While this day is observed on September 25th, it is not the only day family and friends think about the loved ones they lost too soon. Joyous memories often coincide with the painful memory of how they passed. September 25th offers a dedicated moment to celebrate, honor, and remember what made each person unique, special, and valued, while reflecting on how life changed forever in their absence.


While I have not lost someone to violence, I have lost many family members and friends. I feel the deep sorrow of missing them, laugh through memories of the unbelievable things they did, and weep for the pain and suffering they experienced before passing. Yet, there is a distinct dimension of pain for those whose loved ones died by violence. Questions that may never be answered, such as "Why did this happen to my loved one?" are common. Thoughts of them suffering in pain, feeling scared, or dying alone are heartbreaking.


Families and friends of homicide victims need support, but standard grief support groups are often not enough. Dying from a disease is vastly different from losing someone to a violent crime. While families may surround a loved one passing from illness, no one is ever prepared for the shock of violent loss. In general grief support, participants may sympathize, but it is difficult for someone to truly understand the weight of a violent death unless they have experienced it themselves.


Support groups specifically for friends and families of violent crime victims do exist. Many hold web-based meetings, though finding in-person groups can be difficult. Online support is beneficial, but for many, nothing replaces sitting in a room with people who share a common connection. Being able to speak your truth and feel truly understood is priceless. It is unfortunate that in-person options are more limited, but the most important thing is that people have access to a safe community—whether virtual or face-to-face—to share their experiences.


If you would like to speak to a counselor about losing a loved one to violent crime, our team is here to help. Our counselors are trained professionals who provide free, trauma-informed counseling using a variety of therapeutic modalities tailored to your needs. To access these services, please call 610-437-6610 to complete a referral request.


Every April, the Crime Victims Council (CVC) hosts a vigil to honor victims of violent crime at the Tree of Life Memorial Grove. Established in 1996, the grove is dedicated to the memory of those who lost their lives to violence. Tucked away off Cedar Crest Boulevard in Allentown, PA, the location offers a surprisingly calming atmosphere despite the nearby road, surrounded by natural scenery that fosters a sense of tranquility.


The grove features a pathway made of pavers engraved with the names of homicide victims and short memorial messages. I have the great honor of helping families order these pavers, which are fully sponsored by CVC. Attending my first vigil, I was deeply moved seeing families and friends locate their loved one's inscription—a moment filled with both sorrow for their loss and appreciation for the memorial. If you would like to request a paver in honor of someone lost to violent crime, please contact me at 610-437-6610, ext. 325.


During the vigil, survivors and loved ones share their personal experiences. While these stories can be painful to hear, the speakers' resilience is inspiring. If you would like to attend our next vigil, please visit cvclv.org/victims-rights-vigil for details. Speakers at the vigil are typically CVC clients, and your CVC contact can assist you in preparing your remarks.


I hope to see you at the next vigil for our community’s day of remembrance.


Resources for Support and Healing


Crime Victims Council of the Lehigh Valley (CVC)

  • 24/7 Support Line: 610-437-6610

  • Free and Confidential Counseling Intake: 610-437-6610

  • Tree of Life Memorial Paver Information: 610-437-6610, ext. 325

  • Annual Vigil Information: cvclv.org/victims-rights-vigil

  • General Website: cvclv.org


National Specialized Homicide and Violent Loss Support Organizations


  • National Compassionate Friends (Homicide Victims Support): Specialized peer support resources and local chapter connections for families grieving the loss of a child or sibling to homicide. (compassionatefriends.org)

  • National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC): Provides advocacy, referral networks, and resources for victims of crime and their families. (victimsofcrime.org)

  • VictimConnect Resource Center: A confidential, nationwide referral service for crime victims.

  • Pennsylvania Crime Victims Compensation Assistance Program (VCAP): Helps eligible victims and their families with financial costs related to crime, including funeral expenses and counseling support. (pccd.pa.gov)


24/7 Crisis Support

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, confidential, 24/7 support if you or someone you know is in distress or experiencing a mental health crisis.

 
 
 

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